Worry

Over the past 7 or 8 years I have learned to become a little bit more laid back in life.  I think that I had an epiphany during one of my million bad horse decisions that life will throw at you only what you can handle, and there is no sense in trying to predict what that might be.  You can't plan for an obstacle before you know what it is... it is inefficient and ineffective.  That worked well for me in the past... I have a feeling that it is going to take a whole new cycle to convince myself of that when it comes to my daughter.  Waiting for this ultrasound has been awful, despite the reassurance from family, friends and Ron. I have told myself again and again that there is no problem yet, and therefore no solution, but it just doesn't sync in to my physiological self that breaks my heart into a fast rhythm whenever I think about her health not being perfect or that keeps me awake at night. And this, I know, is only the beginning of the rest of my life.  Mom...Dad, I am sorry for all of the times that I so selfishly told you I could take care of myself and not to worry about me... now I know that it comes from a place uncontrollable in the mind.  

Three more hours.  Can't wait to see her face :)